Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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