She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
