Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
