I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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