oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
birth control should be required to get into college
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
