yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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