We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
