Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
