How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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