There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
