after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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