My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you had me at cake vodka
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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