They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
