Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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