So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
