Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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