I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
