I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
