he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
