Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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