Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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