She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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