when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
