yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
