Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i believe in u and ur pee
Panties = found
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
