when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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