I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
