I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
