and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Randomize
