brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
