I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
