Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
