well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need to calm my uterus...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
