So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
