My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
