Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
