that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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