We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
