with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
