Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Two words: nipple clamps
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