I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
