I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
