ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
