tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
