This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
