that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
