I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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