I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
