there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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