just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
