I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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