last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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